My life today is nothing compared to what it was even five years ago, let alone 30 years ago when I began my Christian journey. God planted a seed of change; however, it took almost 20 years to stop living according to my rules and listen to his desires for me.
In Exodus 20:2: God told Moses: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”
He did that for me too. It took a lot of years of wondering in the desert before I relinquished control and began to ardently seek out the will of God for my life. It has been a constant battle between trust and self-will. A fight to devote time to hearing God, to talking to him and trusted friends, and then letting go of what I want. Yes, reading the Bible and praying actually can change our lives!!!
I am thankful for my desert years, as messy as they were. I am saddened that I hurt people on my often misguided journey to learn how to live a life more focused on Jesus than on myself. I wish I had given up on my own way sooner so that I could say I lived a long life of devotion to God.
I wish I had made God the main thing sooner and yet somehow I know that God was always walking with me as the Holy Spirit also nudged me back on the right path, over and over.
Today I want to do better at setting time with God as my priority. I want to do better at pausing and listening before acting. I want to do better at trusting that a closed door is followed by an open door and another unexpected trip with the Lord. I may stumble again and still he will reach a hand out to pull me back. Lord may I always be willing to take your hand rather than walk alone.
Father, help us to make you the main thing in our lives. Help us to pause and to listen to your words and to wait before jumping ahead of you. Lord, guide our steps and those close to us. We thank you for all you are and all we are because of you. Amen 🙏