Tag: Holy Spirit

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Living Loving Serving Transformation Stories

What We Learn From Hearing Others

For many years I sat on the fence between conservativism and progressivism. I tend to be much more of a centerist because I want to bring people together. I’m not a peacemaker by nature, but I am a connectedness person and I love connecting people in ways they didn’t think was possible.

I have lived the life of ultra conservatism, purity culture, and probably a version of what is today called Christian nationalism. And my heart has lived in the liberal world of same-sex relationships, loving the transgender, even supporting Roe v Wade, although my heart believes in the sanctity of life. I have moved from so many of the firm positions I was taught to uphold, because I was willing to listen.

There was a period in my church life when we were told to never look at anything outside of what that sect was teaching. To even consider reading anything like that was to crack the heart open and allow the devil to take a stronghold. Harry Potter was off the table for sure. But so were books that explored different versions of the Bible, different understandings of the Bible, and different ways of living a Christ-centered life.

Heaven forbid we read anything about any other form of spirituality, especially those mystics!

And so I closed my eyes and my ears to what might be different. I refused to even entertain that what I was hearing might not be fully correct. Because if we don’t read something different, if we don’t listen to it, if we only feed ourselves were the same firmly bound beliefs; we might just be missing the enormous pieces of wisdom, grace, and love the Divine Teacher has for us.

We might actually see that God intended more for us. At the end of the day, it really is about understanding God‘s intent for us, Jesus as the story and model for our lives, and then allowing the Holy Spirit to bring those words and stories to life in a new way every day. It’s funny that we were taught that the Bible is a living word, and yet we weren’t allowed to think or imagine with the Holy Spirit. We could only accept what the leaders of the church told us to be truth.

I read 2 Corinthians “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you,” and what I hear is God’s love is big enough for us to hear each other with respect and find our common ground in ONE God and creator.

It may feel as if you have put a target on your back if you are brave enough to step away from the pulpit truth of your brand of religion. I remember the first time I heard about deconstruction and I was appalled that anyone would question what we knew to be true. What we were told was true- end of story- there was no exploring other translations or theologies. How dare anyone think differently? How dare they challenge the beliefs held to be the only real truth about Godly-living.

What if truth is broader then we were taught and what if our lives are changed? What if the Divine Creator isn’t finished creating new things in our lives?

Years later, I had to apologize to those seeking Divine Wisdom, for my lack of understanding. I have apologized to others for my blind obedience to a hurtful teaching. I have had to acknowledge that God‘s world is wide and deep and welcomes all who follow him. He welcomes all who have a heart and a desire to be transformed into the loving image in which we were created. ALL There is so much space in this world for us to experience God, and then to live out the message of Jesus. It is God’s choice—not mine.

I don’t want to be the obstacle to someone experiencing the whole of the Infinite Spirit.

But we have to be willing to listen, to ponder, and to consider that on our path of curious discovery, we might need to adjust our course and change our thinking. We might need to consider that there is another way to love one another as God has so loved us. We might have to consider that Jesus was not a political leader, he did not come to change the political landscape of the world, and we should not be using him to enforce a Pharisee-type living of rules enforced to protect ourselves. Only the Living Spirit of the Divine can do that, and we need to connect more with that power, not an earthly power. We can’t force or coerce the heart of God on others my creating more laws to “protect ourselves” from perceived evil. We must put our faith in the words of Jesus and confess when we do something harmful to others and change our course to align with the Holy One, not the elected one.

For Jesus left us with a helper to navigate the rivers of love ahead of us. He showed us to  love and care for people differently. He showed us it wasn’t about legislating to get our way; it was about loving to show HIS  way. Just like Nicodemus and the Centurion and the many many more who came to change their lives because of the teachings of Jesus and the apostles, we must be willing to consider that there is a better way to love one another and to care for one another.

So yes, it was me digging my heals in that kept me from seeing the overwhelming love and power of the Godhead. It was me that built a wall between myself and others. It was me who missed out on joy because I was too worried about breaking rules. It was me who thought we needed laws to protect our brand of faith.

It was me who was taught and came to believe that nothing good could come from trusting God to actually lead the way.

And it is me who today loves all boldly and proudly. It is me who opened my mind and heart to be changed. And it is the wonderful loving gracious God who invites you to do the same. May your journey take you places you never imagined!

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The Lighter Walk Transformation Stories

Out of the Shadows

Mystic and trappist monk Thomas Merton often wrote about the true self versus the false self. In simple terms, the false self is the humanistic side of our personality and spiritual nature. It is the superficial nature of our being that glides through life unengaged with the Divine Creator and a life of compassion. The true self moves us from the posture of separateness from others and toward seeing others as through “the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God’s eyes.” 

The false self leads us to follow our own ways of self preservation and people pleasing to fit it. The false self are the masks we wear when we refuse to consider another way or perspective in our thinking of self and others. It is the place where pride or position block us from acknowledging when our decisions harm another. It can be a shadowing life of self existence which is earth-bound and with little spiritual connection to God. It is a picking and choosing of scripture that we use as a means to justify our inaction/action rather than using scripture to form and reshape us. 

The past few months, I have been discovering my true self all over again. I lean toward the mystic side of things, meaning I love spending time in prayer and listening for the Holy Spirit to speak. I love moments of solitude when the divine imagination takes me places that seem unworldly. While I love a good liturgical service, it has always been the prayer time, and that special period leading up to the breaking of the bread and the pouring of the wine when I feel most connected to God.

For many years I wasn’t able to attend services because of my job. Over a period of time, I even became too exhausted to rest with the Lord. I stopped feeding my soul, and my soul began to grow shallow and empty. I became a shadow of who I really am as I struggled to survive on my own strength.

My new door hanger!

Beyond the spiritual life, I also set aside my heart of compassion and standing up for people different from me, especially those living in need of help to survive in these difficult times. I connected with people at different groups, but because of the conservative church that I attended, I kept quiet and in the shadows. I quietly supported the LGBTQ+ community, but never let it be known, except to a few friends. I quietly supported families with children/grandchildren who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, who were also afraid of letting people know about their family. I watched the heartbreak and walked with them, in the shadows.

My heart ached for the immigrants and the way that they are being treated in our country today. I saw the hungry becoming more hungry in the economic upheaval in our country. I saw families who once had good government jobs shrink with  embarrassment of their unemployment, and cried silently with them. But I did little more than pray and it grieves me as I reflect back on those times.

Serving our immigrant community.

Mostly, I stayed silent out of fear of losing my own job, and losing connection with the people in my conservative community that I have come to love. I put me before God and before others and failed to serve in the ways  I have been gifted. I left my true self out for self preservation. I went dark in my lead to support others as I waited on others to lead. And I waited too long to be a part of the solution and change.

I got it wrong.

We studied Matthew 9 recently, and I was overwhelmed with the stories of love and compassion that Jesus had for the most despicable of people in his time, and the weakest of people in the community. Not only did he sit with the despised tax collectors, he invited one to become a follower. He met “across the aisle“ with people whose views were quite different from his, and that wanted to destroy his ministry and life. He listened to them and asked them questions so he could understand them, and hopefully they would understand him. He brought healing to the blind, the leper, the shunned woman, and many who were discarded by society.

That’s the Jesus I want to follow. That’s the Jesus with whom I connect. That is the Jesus who changed the law, and said it was simple. Just love the Divine and love others as we would be loved. 

It is such a simple and basic formula, one that doesn’t require legislation to bash and destroy people who are different from us. The current administration, and Christians who support it, are moving towards belittling any person of color, any person with a different “lifestyle”, or who has a different belief—Christian or otherwise. That isn’t what I would consider an America  modeled after our Lord Jesus Christ, which many claim we need.

So I ask you, have you read Matthew 9? Have you read Matthew 25? Have you read the stories of Jesus and his love and compassion for the least among us? Have you sat with those words and asked “Lord what does that mean for me and my heart and life?”

I invite you to come out of the shadows and take a stand, just like Jesus did, for the weak, for the abused, for the different than us. Take a stand, even if it means you may no longer worship in a church where you are worshiping. Take a stand, even if it means people who are close to you will disagree. Come out of the shadows and find your true self, find the heart of Jesus that resides deep in your soul, and then act according to his commands.

References:

Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander (Doubleday: 1966), 140-142.

Adapted from Matthew Fox, A Way To God: Thomas Merton’s Creation Spirituality Journey, p. 185.

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The Lighter Walk

Living in the Presence of the Divine

This past week we celebrated the Ascension of Jesus as told by John. Diana Butler Bass describes this season between the Ascension and Pentacost as “readings emphasize our oneness with God, creation, and each other.” I felt that in my spirit as I reflected on the reading from John 17.

 “So now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had in your presence before the world existed.”

Getty Images

Resting in the presence of your glorious being this day, we bask in the revelation of you the Creator; flesh in this world and Holy Spirit in our minds and bodies today. Surrounded by the angels and souls of your making, millions upon millions gaze upon your splendor.

You are the center of the heart of our life. You are everything. Soul of our soul. Created in your image we bear fruits of your spirit. Here among the created world, we live to share who you are, to love others in your way, and to be still with you.

Grant us peace this day in this world of chaos. Shine upon us. We see the radiation of your love and our heart is changed.

May the intolerant become tolerant.  May the heartless have heart to love and care for others. May the strong be made weak in your sight and in your presence our lives be made wholly reliant upon your guidance.

Lead us as we follow you, the Divine, the magnificent, our all and all. In you and with you we find rest and peace this day and pray we reflect the image of your presence in us.

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Living Loving Serving The Lighter Walk

Fanning the Flames of Hope and Love in the Darkness

I met with a small group of action-minded, concerned people recently. I listened as we went around the room and each shared their sadness, and their anger, over what’s been happening in our nation since the beginning of the new year. As each spoke about our shared grief over military violence in other countries, and in our own streets here in America, each had an undercurrent of hope and love.

That’s what faith does to us. Faith doesn’t say ignore the wrongs in the world. Faith is praying and seeking the face of God, and then acting according to his will. Faith says we have hope in a higher power to shine the light into the darkness we live. Faith says “Here I am Lord,” and means it.

I was also reminded that action in the dark times means different things to different people. Just as each of us who follow Jesus are given different gifts to share and to serve one another as a way to bring the love of Jesus to the world; each of us may be called into action in different ways in this dark time of our nation.

Start on your knees, or whatever your prayer posture is. Soak in the love of Jesus. Sit in the deep love of the Creator. Invite the Holy Spirit to fill you with wisdom and knowledge about what you are to do next. Are you called to be the prayer warrior? Are you called to be the protester on the street? Are you called to be a human barrier protecting the disadvantaged? Are you called to bring food to those afraid to leave their homes? Are you called to clap back against racism and negative comments about fellow citizens?

Answer the call.

Jesus spoke clearly about how God views the way we treat our fellow humans: “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭45‬ ‭NRSVUE‬‬

Th‬‬e same as true in what we do to one another. Are we looking for the face of God in every person? If we are to truly believe that each person is made in the image of God and loved by that same God, who are we to degrade them? Who are we to treat them as less than human? Who are we to disobey the Word of the Lord? And who are we if we fail to love and care for them and to protect them as we would want to be loved and protected? Are we showing the face of a loving God to them?

It breaks our heart when we see professing Christian treat each other in such inhumane ways. It tears us apart when we see a history of violence against one type of person, or one type of religion, that isn’t like ours. It overwhelms us to think that we are on the brink of repeating the cruelty of power-hungry violet leaders in our recent past. We weep for one another and with each other.

And in our weeping, we still have hope. In our weeping, we come to the Lord, confessing our own inadequacies and ungodly thoughts. We come to the Lord seeking forgiveness and restoration. We come to the Lord seeking love and compassion. We fill up all the cracks in our heart with love and compassion, and then we move forward with that same compassion.

Take the light into darkness today. Keep the light of hope lit. Be that light for someone today.

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Living Loving Serving The Lighter Walk

Epiphany: When Light Breaks Through in Love and Hope

Today is January 6 – the traditional date when Christians celebrate the Feast of Epiphany. There are many traditions and interpretations surrounding this day on the Christian calendar. Epiphany is seen as a holy day of remembrance of the Wise Men’s visit to Jesus, often commemorated by attending church services. Many celebrate it as the last day of the 12 days of Christmas with a Christmas-like celebration of gift giving—similar to the gifts given by the Magi. For some it just signals the date to start taking down Christmas decorations.

Unfortunately, January 6 also has a new meaning in American history. It was a day of violence in our capitol. It was a day of turmoil. It was a sad day in American history. A day that should represent love and hope will forever be remembered in tandem with a day of hatred and violence.

We have a choice today. We who follow Jesus can spend our time rehashing that day, and what it meant for our political system. We can use today as a flashpoint for more anger; whether we believe the actions were righteous of whether we believe the actions were those of insurgents. We can spend our time wrapped in darkness or we can look upward to the light in love for that which is Jesus.

Follow God’s light.

Epiphany is an invitation to encounter the illumination of God in our lives. The path of the wisemen led them to the Christ. It led them to the leader of love and peace. This too can be our path today.

In his Epiphany sermon this past Sunday, Rev. Bill Haley spoke about the darkness in which Jesus was born. A world of hate spread by their leader, Herod. It was into this world that God chose to send a bright light: The true light was coming into the world.”(Jn 1.9). Bill reminded us that “There is Epiphany’s second invitation. The first one is See It. The second one is Be It. Be a child of light.”

This past Sunday, Pastor Gina Anderson-Cloud said because of Jesus, we can “make a difference in our world.“ How can we be the light in the darkness today? How can we follow that light above and help illuminate the world with the love of Jesus? How can we bring hope to the hopeless?

I found recently that as I look deeper into the scriptures and revel in the way in which God loved us so much that he first created us in his image, and when we failed, he sent his son in our image to demonstrate love we could relate to in human form. Jesus came not just to forgive our sins and bring salvation for our souls, he came to model how to love like the God in whose image we are created.

I encourage you to find a community where they are all about the love of Jesus in action. Find a place where you feel the hope of the Holy Spirit to transform lives and to bring the wholeness of a God whose immeasurable love lights the way. Find a place where you can love and serve others and bring the light to them. Be God’s light and gift to others this Epiphany. Allow God’s love to shine through you that lives may be transformed and set free to love others.

“I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them. Yes, I will indeed do these things; I will not forsake them.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭42‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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Aging in Grace Transformation Stories

All He Has Done…

Do you ever find yourself in a place of beating yourself up because you just aren’t good enough? Beating yourself up because you still have bad habits that you wish you didn’t have. Maybe you’re looking at the world around you and wishing it were better than it is.

It is so easy to get stuck in that rut of despair, and in a place of hopelessness. It is easy to go down the dark windy road of doubt and disbelief. And yet I don’t believe that’s where God wants us to land and to stay.

I found this morning that I needed to sit back and make a list of all the things God has done in my life. I started with the near term, and that list was pretty long. As I write this, I’m thinking back to my childhood, my adolescence, and my early 20s, It really is but by the grace of God that I’m still alive and healthy.

My life has changed radically because I was willing to ask for help. I was willing to go to another and say I can’t do this. Sometimes that was a counselor, sometimes it was a lay minister, sometimes it was healing prayer. A lot of times it was sitting in the darkness of my room, crying out. Asking to be changed. But it was me asking. It was a desire for my heart to be different.

So what changed in me? Little things started the change. I quit smoking overnight. I quit over eating to fill the void in my heart. I quit drinking so that I would fit in. A change in who I was dependent on, from seeking out relationships with with people (OK, let’s be real, men) to a relationship with God. Getting to know who Jesus is and become willing to open my hands and ask the Holy Spirit into my life as a guide.

I got a soul friend, a spiritual director, a partner in Faith, whatever you wanna call it but someone who I could wrestle with my insecurities and who would hear from the Holy Spirit and talk me through it. And I opened my heart up more to ask God where I need to change.

Someone asked me the other day how long it takes to change and become more like Jesus. I had to remind them, and me, that we are made in the image of God, but we are not God. We will never be perfect. Our journey will never end until it ends. That means for the rest of our lives, we get to have a close dependent relationship with the Lord.

This morning, I woke to a vision of Angels. I never really believed in angels before. I have come to believe that spiritual and human angels led me to an understanding of what God wants to do in my life. Just like Paul, these angles helped break the chains that bound me to behaviors I needed to relinquish. And just like Paul, they led me out of the darkness and into the light. (acts 12:5-1)

When I sit in that light and when I breathe in the Holy Spirit, I can feel a presence unlike anything else and I know that God isn’t finished with me yet. I am thankful for what he has done, and trust that there is more to come. I’m not as young as I used to be, my body doesn’t jump as quickly; however, my heart still does. I’m still asking how he wants me to change, and working on that change. I’m asking what he wants me to do in this part of my life, and that gives me energy and excitement.

I encourage you to read Romans 8. Learn about living life in the Spirit and God’s desire to transform our lives- together! One little word of advice from Paul:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭NIVUK‬‬

Peace be with you friends.

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Living Loving Serving

I Hear You, and Still I Linger

Each day I have the opportunity to choose to sit with God. I get to choose if I will spend a little bit of my day, reading the Word and allowing it to sink into my heart. Each day, I have the opportunity to sit with my hands open and listen for that small voice to speak to me. Each day I have a choice to hear from God.

Some days I choose to start my day in meditation. It always changes everything about my day because those words sit with me. It’s like feeding on the word fills me up and gives me strength to be positive to be kind to be compassionate. I don’t do so well without those words filling me up.

I have the choice of sitting with God in the afternoon. I’m busy trying to get all my steps in,, trying to lose weight. Trying to be healthier. And it’s so easy to turn my app on and listen to the word and be filled again and again. But it’s my choice.

I have the choice to meet with him before I go to bed. I can scroll through everyone else’s story, or I can sit with his story and let that help me to fall asleep. I seldom choose that one. I usually fall asleep to some silly show that I’ve watched 100 times. The nights I do listen to the Word before I fall asleep, I know my dreams will be better. I know I will sleep better. But it isn’t always the choice that I make.

And when I take time to be in those moments with God, he does speak to me. I hear those words and I listen to them over and over and I ask Lord: “What do you want me to take from that today?” Recently in the mountains of North Carolina he spoke very clearly to me through others who prayed with me. He told me I was done with something that I had held tightly for too months now. In fact, it had become my identity. Oh yeah, I was his servant, but I was known and seen and mostly appreciated. But he said it was time to let that go because it was no longer healthy spiritually or emotionally for me.

He gave me a new place to land. A safe place. A place where I could heal and place where I could spend more time with him, if I chose to do. And still, I linger in the past that he has said to let go of. It’s funny how our own self-worth – the identity we choose for ourselves – can trap us in a place where God no longer wants to use us.

I need to listen. I need to go. I need to follow. I think today about those people who left everything to physically follow Jesus. Their life wasn’t easy, but I believe it was better. When we drop the thing that we are holding so tightly, and open our hands to receive the love of God, the blessing of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of Jesus we can step into the unknown, trusting, having faith. I do believe God will use us in ways that we could never begin to imagine.

Take that step. Spend time with the Lord and ask him what the next right step is to take Do the next right thing for him, because of him, and because he loves you enough to lead you down that right path.

“I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭40‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭MSG‬‬

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Transformation Stories

The Path to New Life

Life is a journey of finding our meaning, finding our purpose, and stepping forward into the place we believe we are called to live. For years, I have had a vision of a cobblestone path when I meditate or pray. There are times the path is dark, other times the stones are bright. It has been surrounded by flowers; at times it is just grass and even unplanted fields. During really special times of prayer, I often have an overwhelming sense of the Lord guiding me on the path and it always appears more inviting then!

Every pilgrimage toward meaning and purpose begins with a first step and a base upon which we gingerly lay stones of uncertainty. The stones we lay are different; each telling a story of the unique steps taken. Some have been forcefully thrown on my path without care for the impact. Those are the ones that cause me to trip and fall off the path. The ones that make me unsteady in my journey. They are the ones that also compelled me to cry out to God. Help me! Change me! Don’t leave me here.

Continue reading “The Path to New Life”
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The Lighter Walk

Beginning with Peace

We get to chose how we live our lives. As peace-givers or hate-makers. Do we strive to bring “Shalom” in our interactions with others? Or are we ready to battle for our own opinions- no matter the hurt they may cause?

The Bible Project defines the “Hebrew word for peace is shalom, and it describes a deep sense of well-being that comes through the presence of completion, reconciliation, and justice.” Three ways in which we can bring a sense of completeness to our relationship, rather than cracks and brokenness. Sometimes it means we must take steps to restore the brokenness.

Peace then requires us to set aside ourselves and to listen to others. It involves a willingness to bridge the divide and create a new wholeness in the relationship. And that is hard…on our own. Jesus came to teach and bring restoration to a broken world. He came first to restore our relationship with God the father, and he left the Holy Spirit to guide us in the restoration of other broken relationships.

I realize I can’t be a peace-maker if I am not feeding my heart and soul with the good words of my faith. I can’t begin to step into a broken world without praying and coming into agreement with the Lord that Shalom matters. I can’t do it without inviting the Holy Spirit to speak to me. I have to be willing to invest in my spiritual growth if I ever want to get to a place of wholeness for myself and in relationships with others.

Continue reading “Beginning with Peace”
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Living Loving Serving

The Gift of my Church Community

This has been the summer I fully embraced the community of my church family. The one where I attend services and the one that has connected me with some life-long friends and acquaintances. It has been a summer of gathering together socially and spiritually. Mostly, it has been the best time I have had in years and I am beyond grateful.

Continue reading “The Gift of my Church Community”
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