Categories
The Lighter Walk Transformation Stories

Nature: Life in Creation

Driving to a cabin in the Shenandoah with my friend, I felt the gentle shift from city life to country beauty, surrounded by the blue hills of Virginia. There’s a point in driving when suddenly one takes a deep breath and lets out the sigh of renewal found in the splendor of the hills in front of us. Driving even deeper onto roads leading up the mountain, we rolled down our windows to hear the sounds of nature alive around us.

Settling in for an evening of wine and long talks, the air was full of the chirping of birds and the crackling of animals, moving in the brush below us. At one point, we sat in silence, just listening, waiting to hear that next unexpected sound break through the trees. We had already seen the majesty  of a deer as we drove up the road, and we waited in anticipation for a bear or other creature to walk across our land. In the meantime, we were soaking in the call of nature, just as God had designed it.

As the sun began to set, the world around us began to settle in. I didn’t realize at first, but nature was silencing itself for the great sleep. As it began to grow dark, the lightning bugs flickered across in front of us. You seldom see lightning bugs in the city anymore. They twinkled in front of us in their dance of merriment. It was then that we noticed the woods were becoming silent. It was as if the Creator were soothing all the creatures and tucking them in for the evening. The birds became quiet. The rustling in the bush below us became less apparent. Even our little lightning bugs put their lights out.

And as the moon shown through the trees, we were struck with how bright it was, as the quiet descended upon us. We sat in that silence for many minutes, listening to the nothingness and all its glory.

As the sun rose the following morning, so did the chirp of the wood trush deep within the branches of our forest. Nature again speaking life into the day. The Divine calling us from our slumber into their awakening of our soul. The sacred combining of all creation the soul longs to rediscover is here in these woodlands. 

Such incredible sounds culminating in the vibrancy of a world of differences- each with their own voice announcing their presence and waiting for the response of others. A harmonious reminder from nature of God’s intent for us. The rooster crowing in the distance telling us all to get moving- don’t miss this day, this hour, this moment. And gradually the ground beginning to crunch as wildlife walked across the valley in response to the melodic choir of a new day. Squirrels playfully entertained us jumping from branch to branch and chasing each other around the tree trunk.

“For you shall go out in joy and be led back in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” Isaiah‬ ‭55‬:‭12‬ ‭NRSVUE‬‬

Just as evening brought us the majestically gentle deer in our path, the morning brought forth the lumbering gait of a black bear crossing the yard. All creatures springing to life, even the smallest of insects tiptoeing across the chair where we sat. It is the awe and wonder of this planet we are called to care for and love. It is a reminder of all that the Divine implanted in all of creation- to be still in that presence and know that the Holy One remains with us and in us. May you know such peace where you sit today. 

Categories
Transformation Stories

Building New Connections

Life is full of changes. Having lived a few decades now, I have traveled many pathways. Some that were forced on me and others I chose. Some were easy and others not so easy. Each took time to find a way to settle into new patterns. 

These changes can take a toll on us mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. We may need to shut down for a little while and sit in the midst of what was, what is, and what is to come. There is a period of grieving the connections that no longer exist. There may be a period of sitting and wondering and praying about the lessons learned. These are the building blocks of our lives and how we strengthen the foundation of who we are for the next step. 

And then there is deliberately stepping out of our comfort zone into something new and perhaps a little uncomfortable. It is hearing that mystical voice that says “Go.” It is faith to trust that in following the Divine, it somehow works out. 

Even when we find ourselves settling into a new community, there may be a period of timidness as we wonder if this is where we will fit next. If we have been wounded by a community, especially a spiritual community, it may take longer to trust what feels right. Do we dare make new connections? What if trust is broken again? We wait anxiously for signs of pending betrayal. 

What about those relationships that we have left behind? Will any of them continue? Or will people forget us and just move on because we’re no longer a part of whatever that program or life was? Will we forget?

Will friendships that we thought were lasting, simply dissolve away? These are the seasons of our life which we flow in and out of. And it is a natural part of living. What do we do when the things we did are no longer what we do?

Being connected and being part of community is central for us of humans to thrive. God saw that in the creation story as humans developed relationship with their creator. 

“Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out… spurring each other on.”  Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭24-25 MSG‬‬

Categories
Living Loving Serving Transformation Stories

What We Learn From Hearing Others

For many years I sat on the fence between conservativism and progressivism. I tend to be much more of a centerist because I want to bring people together. I’m not a peacemaker by nature, but I am a connectedness person and I love connecting people in ways they didn’t think was possible.

I have lived the life of ultra conservatism, purity culture, and probably a version of what is today called Christian nationalism. And my heart has lived in the liberal world of same-sex relationships, loving the transgender, even supporting Roe v Wade, although my heart believes in the sanctity of life. I have moved from so many of the firm positions I was taught to uphold, because I was willing to listen.

There was a period in my church life when we were told to never look at anything outside of what that sect was teaching. To even consider reading anything like that was to crack the heart open and allow the devil to take a stronghold. Harry Potter was off the table for sure. But so were books that explored different versions of the Bible, different understandings of the Bible, and different ways of living a Christ-centered life.

Heaven forbid we read anything about any other form of spirituality, especially those mystics!

And so I closed my eyes and my ears to what might be different. I refused to even entertain that what I was hearing might not be fully correct. Because if we don’t read something different, if we don’t listen to it, if we only feed ourselves were the same firmly bound beliefs; we might just be missing the enormous pieces of wisdom, grace, and love the Divine Teacher has for us.

We might actually see that God intended more for us. At the end of the day, it really is about understanding God‘s intent for us, Jesus as the story and model for our lives, and then allowing the Holy Spirit to bring those words and stories to life in a new way every day. It’s funny that we were taught that the Bible is a living word, and yet we weren’t allowed to think or imagine with the Holy Spirit. We could only accept what the leaders of the church told us to be truth.

I read 2 Corinthians “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you,” and what I hear is God’s love is big enough for us to hear each other with respect and find our common ground in ONE God and creator.

It may feel as if you have put a target on your back if you are brave enough to step away from the pulpit truth of your brand of religion. I remember the first time I heard about deconstruction and I was appalled that anyone would question what we knew to be true. What we were told was true- end of story- there was no exploring other translations or theologies. How dare anyone think differently? How dare they challenge the beliefs held to be the only real truth about Godly-living.

What if truth is broader then we were taught and what if our lives are changed? What if the Divine Creator isn’t finished creating new things in our lives?

Years later, I had to apologize to those seeking Divine Wisdom, for my lack of understanding. I have apologized to others for my blind obedience to a hurtful teaching. I have had to acknowledge that God‘s world is wide and deep and welcomes all who follow him. He welcomes all who have a heart and a desire to be transformed into the loving image in which we were created. ALL There is so much space in this world for us to experience God, and then to live out the message of Jesus. It is God’s choice—not mine.

I don’t want to be the obstacle to someone experiencing the whole of the Infinite Spirit.

But we have to be willing to listen, to ponder, and to consider that on our path of curious discovery, we might need to adjust our course and change our thinking. We might need to consider that there is another way to love one another as God has so loved us. We might have to consider that Jesus was not a political leader, he did not come to change the political landscape of the world, and we should not be using him to enforce a Pharisee-type living of rules enforced to protect ourselves. Only the Living Spirit of the Divine can do that, and we need to connect more with that power, not an earthly power. We can’t force or coerce the heart of God on others my creating more laws to “protect ourselves” from perceived evil. We must put our faith in the words of Jesus and confess when we do something harmful to others and change our course to align with the Holy One, not the elected one.

For Jesus left us with a helper to navigate the rivers of love ahead of us. He showed us to  love and care for people differently. He showed us it wasn’t about legislating to get our way; it was about loving to show HIS  way. Just like Nicodemus and the Centurion and the many many more who came to change their lives because of the teachings of Jesus and the apostles, we must be willing to consider that there is a better way to love one another and to care for one another.

So yes, it was me digging my heals in that kept me from seeing the overwhelming love and power of the Godhead. It was me that built a wall between myself and others. It was me who missed out on joy because I was too worried about breaking rules. It was me who thought we needed laws to protect our brand of faith.

It was me who was taught and came to believe that nothing good could come from trusting God to actually lead the way.

And it is me who today loves all boldly and proudly. It is me who opened my mind and heart to be changed. And it is the wonderful loving gracious God who invites you to do the same. May your journey take you places you never imagined!

Categories
The Lighter Walk Transformation Stories

Out of the Shadows

Mystic and trappist monk Thomas Merton often wrote about the true self versus the false self. In simple terms, the false self is the humanistic side of our personality and spiritual nature. It is the superficial nature of our being that glides through life unengaged with the Divine Creator and a life of compassion. The true self moves us from the posture of separateness from others and toward seeing others as through “the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God’s eyes.” 

The false self leads us to follow our own ways of self preservation and people pleasing to fit it. The false self are the masks we wear when we refuse to consider another way or perspective in our thinking of self and others. It is the place where pride or position block us from acknowledging when our decisions harm another. It can be a shadowing life of self existence which is earth-bound and with little spiritual connection to God. It is a picking and choosing of scripture that we use as a means to justify our inaction/action rather than using scripture to form and reshape us. 

The past few months, I have been discovering my true self all over again. I lean toward the mystic side of things, meaning I love spending time in prayer and listening for the Holy Spirit to speak. I love moments of solitude when the divine imagination takes me places that seem unworldly. While I love a good liturgical service, it has always been the prayer time, and that special period leading up to the breaking of the bread and the pouring of the wine when I feel most connected to God.

For many years I wasn’t able to attend services because of my job. Over a period of time, I even became too exhausted to rest with the Lord. I stopped feeding my soul, and my soul began to grow shallow and empty. I became a shadow of who I really am as I struggled to survive on my own strength.

My new door hanger!

Beyond the spiritual life, I also set aside my heart of compassion and standing up for people different from me, especially those living in need of help to survive in these difficult times. I connected with people at different groups, but because of the conservative church that I attended, I kept quiet and in the shadows. I quietly supported the LGBTQ+ community, but never let it be known, except to a few friends. I quietly supported families with children/grandchildren who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, who were also afraid of letting people know about their family. I watched the heartbreak and walked with them, in the shadows.

My heart ached for the immigrants and the way that they are being treated in our country today. I saw the hungry becoming more hungry in the economic upheaval in our country. I saw families who once had good government jobs shrink with  embarrassment of their unemployment, and cried silently with them. But I did little more than pray and it grieves me as I reflect back on those times.

Serving our immigrant community.

Mostly, I stayed silent out of fear of losing my own job, and losing connection with the people in my conservative community that I have come to love. I put me before God and before others and failed to serve in the ways  I have been gifted. I left my true self out for self preservation. I went dark in my lead to support others as I waited on others to lead. And I waited too long to be a part of the solution and change.

I got it wrong.

We studied Matthew 9 recently, and I was overwhelmed with the stories of love and compassion that Jesus had for the most despicable of people in his time, and the weakest of people in the community. Not only did he sit with the despised tax collectors, he invited one to become a follower. He met “across the aisle“ with people whose views were quite different from his, and that wanted to destroy his ministry and life. He listened to them and asked them questions so he could understand them, and hopefully they would understand him. He brought healing to the blind, the leper, the shunned woman, and many who were discarded by society.

That’s the Jesus I want to follow. That’s the Jesus with whom I connect. That is the Jesus who changed the law, and said it was simple. Just love the Divine and love others as we would be loved. 

It is such a simple and basic formula, one that doesn’t require legislation to bash and destroy people who are different from us. The current administration, and Christians who support it, are moving towards belittling any person of color, any person with a different “lifestyle”, or who has a different belief—Christian or otherwise. That isn’t what I would consider an America  modeled after our Lord Jesus Christ, which many claim we need.

So I ask you, have you read Matthew 9? Have you read Matthew 25? Have you read the stories of Jesus and his love and compassion for the least among us? Have you sat with those words and asked “Lord what does that mean for me and my heart and life?”

I invite you to come out of the shadows and take a stand, just like Jesus did, for the weak, for the abused, for the different than us. Take a stand, even if it means you may no longer worship in a church where you are worshiping. Take a stand, even if it means people who are close to you will disagree. Come out of the shadows and find your true self, find the heart of Jesus that resides deep in your soul, and then act according to his commands.

References:

Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander (Doubleday: 1966), 140-142.

Adapted from Matthew Fox, A Way To God: Thomas Merton’s Creation Spirituality Journey, p. 185.

Categories
Living Loving Serving Transformation Stories

Do We Care to Change?

This Ash Wednesday I began a soaking in the writings of a diverse group of wisdom sharers. I sat with my own faults and remembrances of harsh words, judgments, and pride that I still cling to. I have found that I repeat the same negative behaviors toward myself and others, and I am saddened that my heart has not changed as much as my mind thinks it has. It is time to again reflect on the walking the walk of repentance and forgiveness. 

“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22

I feel that about the world as I look out on it today. We have learned so much and come so far; and yet we seem to continue to stumble and slide backwards.

Unrepentant.

Repentance requires more than saying I am sorry. Repentance requires repair. Repentance requires a lasting change.

What are we willing to give of ourselves to move the needle forward toward repairing injustices in our world? Are we willing to repent of our own thinking patterns and actions and make lasting changes in our own lives?

Change begins with a self examination before change can happen in the world around us.

I recognize that:

  • Racism hasn’t gone away.
  • Sexual harassment hasn’t gone away.
  • Patriarchy hasn’t gone away.
  • Demeaning and devaluing women hasn’t gone away.
  • Prejudice hasn’t gone away.
  • Cruelty for the sake of making ourselves feel better hasn’t gone away.

Denial is alive and well, in me and in these times. There have been times when I was part of that denial. If I am honest, I still see some of those patterns crop up today. Old tapes of prejudice and racism still sneak into my thoughts- uncontrollably- and I must make a conscious effort to force them out. I need to repent for those thoughts. I still find my brain asking if stories of sexual harassment and abuse could be true or was there “just a misunderstanding.” Those are words I grew up with in spite of my own experiences telling me to believe what women say. I must repent of my judgment and disbelief of the painful stories the brave share. The old patterns of working in a male-dominated field often caused me to defer to men in leadership over fully qualified and highly capable women. I must repent of my disregard and inflicted pain on my fellow women leaders, especially women called into ministry as clergy.

Why do we demonize those speaking truth about their painful experiences of abuse, of harassment, of racial profiling, or dehumanizing actions against them. Why are we willing to ignore the stories of those who still suffer because of these old beliefs of power and superiority? Why is it so hard for us to repent of our own roles and refuse to turn in a new direction?

Revolutionary change is our responsibility. It starts with the people. It starts with crossing the road and building relationships and diverse inclusive community. Are we willing to take a Jesus posture and move beyond self and to stand and care for fellow humans?

Are we willing to take time this Lent to repent of our own roles in holding others down?

If we honestly want to see change,  we cannot sit by and wait for someone else to do the work. Maybe you are able to start by asking God these questions of yourself. Perhaps take an honest assessment of your own belief systems and trappings of what you have been taught? How do we enter into a posture of respect and carrying forward the reminder that we are ALL Created in God’s image. All of us.

For me, I find these answers and change by spending quiet time with God. I find it reading words of wisdom from others ahead of me on the path of repentance and forgiveness. I find transformation and calling in the words of Jesus and inspiration by hearing and moving with the Holy Spirit. Find your way and let this be your time of breaking chains and freedom to move forward. 

Peace be with you on this journey. 

Categories
Transformation Stories

When Love and Hope are Distant

When Love and Hope are Distant, I cry out to God to restore me.

It is hard this morning to find words of love and hope. It is hard to wake to the beauty of a snow-filled day that is also filled with such anguish over yet another murder in our city streets. It is hard to feel love and hope when things seem so evil and hopeless right now.

But there is still hope, and there is still love in the midst of deep pain. We saw that in the outpouring of people in the streets across America following the death of Alex Pretti. People were compelled to come together in community across our nation in pain and dismay over the unthinkable that has become the norm in our country. Churches in Minnesota filled with people from all denominations and all faces to pray in love and hope.

I want to repeat that they came together to pray in love for love, and for hope. Even in the darkest of our hours, God does not abandon us even in the midst the most horrendous tragedy. We can still see the face of our loving Jesus who died on a cross for us that lives could be changed.

This morning I was drawn to The Beatitudes. These are the words of hope that Jesus left us with. These are words of encouragement. These are words he gave us on how to live our lives. These are the words we must choose in our actions going forward. We must not give into the violence ; we must give into love and hope.

“And he began to speak and taught them, saying: 

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. “

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 

Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. 

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 

Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭2‬-‭11‬ ‭NRSVUE‬‬

In Martin Luther King Junior’s  1967 address to the antiwar group Clergy and Laity Concerned, he said: “When I speak of love I am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. I am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality. This Hindu-Moslem-Christian-Jewish-Buddhist belief about ultimate reality is beautifully summed up in the first epistle of Saint John: “Let us love one another; for love is God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.” (Strength to Love)

As we continue to process what has happened, and consider what could happen, I implore you to spend time in the good words of Jesus. Spend time reading and listening to faith leaders of nonviolence. Seek out those who would encourage us to fight injustice in the power of the loving God we follow, continue to pray for all those involved and all those who will take to the streets in the days ahead. 

From Rev. Esau McCaulley ‘God’s Colorful Kingdom’ Art by Rogerio Coelho

May this be the turning point back towards a nation who respects and loves every single person living in this nation built for refugees and immigrants. May we abide together in love and peace.

Categories
Aging in Grace Transformation Stories

All He Has Done…

Do you ever find yourself in a place of beating yourself up because you just aren’t good enough? Beating yourself up because you still have bad habits that you wish you didn’t have. Maybe you’re looking at the world around you and wishing it were better than it is.

It is so easy to get stuck in that rut of despair, and in a place of hopelessness. It is easy to go down the dark windy road of doubt and disbelief. And yet I don’t believe that’s where God wants us to land and to stay.

I found this morning that I needed to sit back and make a list of all the things God has done in my life. I started with the near term, and that list was pretty long. As I write this, I’m thinking back to my childhood, my adolescence, and my early 20s, It really is but by the grace of God that I’m still alive and healthy.

My life has changed radically because I was willing to ask for help. I was willing to go to another and say I can’t do this. Sometimes that was a counselor, sometimes it was a lay minister, sometimes it was healing prayer. A lot of times it was sitting in the darkness of my room, crying out. Asking to be changed. But it was me asking. It was a desire for my heart to be different.

So what changed in me? Little things started the change. I quit smoking overnight. I quit over eating to fill the void in my heart. I quit drinking so that I would fit in. A change in who I was dependent on, from seeking out relationships with with people (OK, let’s be real, men) to a relationship with God. Getting to know who Jesus is and become willing to open my hands and ask the Holy Spirit into my life as a guide.

I got a soul friend, a spiritual director, a partner in Faith, whatever you wanna call it but someone who I could wrestle with my insecurities and who would hear from the Holy Spirit and talk me through it. And I opened my heart up more to ask God where I need to change.

Someone asked me the other day how long it takes to change and become more like Jesus. I had to remind them, and me, that we are made in the image of God, but we are not God. We will never be perfect. Our journey will never end until it ends. That means for the rest of our lives, we get to have a close dependent relationship with the Lord.

This morning, I woke to a vision of Angels. I never really believed in angels before. I have come to believe that spiritual and human angels led me to an understanding of what God wants to do in my life. Just like Paul, these angles helped break the chains that bound me to behaviors I needed to relinquish. And just like Paul, they led me out of the darkness and into the light. (acts 12:5-1)

When I sit in that light and when I breathe in the Holy Spirit, I can feel a presence unlike anything else and I know that God isn’t finished with me yet. I am thankful for what he has done, and trust that there is more to come. I’m not as young as I used to be, my body doesn’t jump as quickly; however, my heart still does. I’m still asking how he wants me to change, and working on that change. I’m asking what he wants me to do in this part of my life, and that gives me energy and excitement.

I encourage you to read Romans 8. Learn about living life in the Spirit and God’s desire to transform our lives- together! One little word of advice from Paul:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭NIVUK‬‬

Peace be with you friends.

Categories
Transformation Stories

The Path to New Life

Life is a journey of finding our meaning, finding our purpose, and stepping forward into the place we believe we are called to live. For years, I have had a vision of a cobblestone path when I meditate or pray. There are times the path is dark, other times the stones are bright. It has been surrounded by flowers; at times it is just grass and even unplanted fields. During really special times of prayer, I often have an overwhelming sense of the Lord guiding me on the path and it always appears more inviting then!

Every pilgrimage toward meaning and purpose begins with a first step and a base upon which we gingerly lay stones of uncertainty. The stones we lay are different; each telling a story of the unique steps taken. Some have been forcefully thrown on my path without care for the impact. Those are the ones that cause me to trip and fall off the path. The ones that make me unsteady in my journey. They are the ones that also compelled me to cry out to God. Help me! Change me! Don’t leave me here.

Categories
Transformation Stories

A Hope I Can Trust

Hope is such an encouraging word. We say it all the time: I hope you feel better, I hope you get the job, I hope it all works out. Dictionary.com defines it as: “to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.” We keep hoping “to feel that something desired may happen.” We don’t know that it will, but it could happen and in saying “I hope,” we mean that we will wait together for whatever is to come, anticipating the best outcome.

However, there is a different kind of hope we discover this time of year – a deeper spiritual hope. This is an extended level of trust, often based on past spiritual experiences or shared stories. It is a hope placed in the person of Jesus Christ. It is a prayer we offer to God, believing in our own spirit, that God will manage the details as we walk with him.

Categories
Transformation Stories

A Thankful Changed Heart

I wanted to sleep in this Thanksgiving morn, and yet I was called out of bed to take in the sunrise over the apartments where I live. You see I was laying in bed moaning to myself about not having a bigger space to invite people into. I was regretting the mistakes that caused me to give up two incredible homes.

From my balcony. New every day!

As I walked to the kitchen to switch on the coffee pot, I turned and looked out the window to yet another magical sunrise. As a friend used to say: “God hit me with a clue by four” and I remembered how blessed I am to have let all those other houses go. Those places were traps for me financially and, I dare say, spiritually too. It was all about the image I cast about my success and about my ability to fit into a higher economic status. “About me” is the key term here.

California Dreaming!

Eight years ago, I packed up everything and took a trip away. I didn’t know that stopping for a month and taking in the natural beauty of California would be a pivotal moment in my life. Everything changed when I came home. A smaller place to live—with a view! A new church with new relationships and healing. A new life that wasn’t focused on my image but on the image of Jesus.

Food pantry donation drive at church.

Moving the focus from my wants to image-building and the message to have more, meant I could be open to see the needs of others around me. I stepped into prayer ministry. I became a spiritual director to help and encourage other women see God’s plan for them. God led me to little children and parents and a team of incredible care-givers. Unexpectedly, he led me to help create an outreach ministry for those in need of food and care. And now, I hear a call to do more. In HIS name and for HIM. Not me…

Seeds of growth.

All along the way, God was guiding my steps. Even though I was stubborn and stuck to my ways, he was patient in letting me get to where he wants me. This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the life journey of bumps and bruises because it has taken me to this new place of peace, of carrying others burdens, of waiting on the Lord to nudge me to the next thing.

I am thankful that he has changed my heart. I am thankful for praying friends who have walked with me through awful times. I am thankful for the hope of a new sunrise and a new adventure.

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