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Living Loving Serving Transformation Stories

What We Learn From Hearing Others

For many years I sat on the fence between conservativism and progressivism. I tend to be much more of a centerist because I want to bring people together. I’m not a peacemaker by nature, but I am a connectedness person and I love connecting people in ways they didn’t think was possible.

I have lived the life of ultra conservatism, purity culture, and probably a version of what is today called Christian nationalism. And my heart has lived in the liberal world of same-sex relationships, loving the transgender, even supporting Roe v Wade, although my heart believes in the sanctity of life. I have moved from so many of the firm positions I was taught to uphold, because I was willing to listen.

There was a period in my church life when we were told to never look at anything outside of what that sect was teaching. To even consider reading anything like that was to crack the heart open and allow the devil to take a stronghold. Harry Potter was off the table for sure. But so were books that explored different versions of the Bible, different understandings of the Bible, and different ways of living a Christ-centered life.

Heaven forbid we read anything about any other form of spirituality, especially those mystics!

And so I closed my eyes and my ears to what might be different. I refused to even entertain that what I was hearing might not be fully correct. Because if we don’t read something different, if we don’t listen to it, if we only feed ourselves were the same firmly bound beliefs; we might just be missing the enormous pieces of wisdom, grace, and love the Divine Teacher has for us.

We might actually see that God intended more for us. At the end of the day, it really is about understanding God‘s intent for us, Jesus as the story and model for our lives, and then allowing the Holy Spirit to bring those words and stories to life in a new way every day. It’s funny that we were taught that the Bible is a living word, and yet we weren’t allowed to think or imagine with the Holy Spirit. We could only accept what the leaders of the church told us to be truth.

I read 2 Corinthians “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you,” and what I hear is God’s love is big enough for us to hear each other with respect and find our common ground in ONE God and creator.

It may feel as if you have put a target on your back if you are brave enough to step away from the pulpit truth of your brand of religion. I remember the first time I heard about deconstruction and I was appalled that anyone would question what we knew to be true. What we were told was true- end of story- there was no exploring other translations or theologies. How dare anyone think differently? How dare they challenge the beliefs held to be the only real truth about Godly-living.

What if truth is broader then we were taught and what if our lives are changed? What if the Divine Creator isn’t finished creating new things in our lives?

Years later, I had to apologize to those seeking Divine Wisdom, for my lack of understanding. I have apologized to others for my blind obedience to a hurtful teaching. I have had to acknowledge that God‘s world is wide and deep and welcomes all who follow him. He welcomes all who have a heart and a desire to be transformed into the loving image in which we were created. ALL There is so much space in this world for us to experience God, and then to live out the message of Jesus. It is God’s choice—not mine.

I don’t want to be the obstacle to someone experiencing the whole of the Infinite Spirit.

But we have to be willing to listen, to ponder, and to consider that on our path of curious discovery, we might need to adjust our course and change our thinking. We might need to consider that there is another way to love one another as God has so loved us. We might have to consider that Jesus was not a political leader, he did not come to change the political landscape of the world, and we should not be using him to enforce a Pharisee-type living of rules enforced to protect ourselves. Only the Living Spirit of the Divine can do that, and we need to connect more with that power, not an earthly power. We can’t force or coerce the heart of God on others my creating more laws to “protect ourselves” from perceived evil. We must put our faith in the words of Jesus and confess when we do something harmful to others and change our course to align with the Holy One, not the elected one.

For Jesus left us with a helper to navigate the rivers of love ahead of us. He showed us to  love and care for people differently. He showed us it wasn’t about legislating to get our way; it was about loving to show HIS  way. Just like Nicodemus and the Centurion and the many many more who came to change their lives because of the teachings of Jesus and the apostles, we must be willing to consider that there is a better way to love one another and to care for one another.

So yes, it was me digging my heals in that kept me from seeing the overwhelming love and power of the Godhead. It was me that built a wall between myself and others. It was me who missed out on joy because I was too worried about breaking rules. It was me who thought we needed laws to protect our brand of faith.

It was me who was taught and came to believe that nothing good could come from trusting God to actually lead the way.

And it is me who today loves all boldly and proudly. It is me who opened my mind and heart to be changed. And it is the wonderful loving gracious God who invites you to do the same. May your journey take you places you never imagined!

Categories
Aging in Grace Transformation Stories

All He Has Done…

Do you ever find yourself in a place of beating yourself up because you just aren’t good enough? Beating yourself up because you still have bad habits that you wish you didn’t have. Maybe you’re looking at the world around you and wishing it were better than it is.

It is so easy to get stuck in that rut of despair, and in a place of hopelessness. It is easy to go down the dark windy road of doubt and disbelief. And yet I don’t believe that’s where God wants us to land and to stay.

I found this morning that I needed to sit back and make a list of all the things God has done in my life. I started with the near term, and that list was pretty long. As I write this, I’m thinking back to my childhood, my adolescence, and my early 20s, It really is but by the grace of God that I’m still alive and healthy.

My life has changed radically because I was willing to ask for help. I was willing to go to another and say I can’t do this. Sometimes that was a counselor, sometimes it was a lay minister, sometimes it was healing prayer. A lot of times it was sitting in the darkness of my room, crying out. Asking to be changed. But it was me asking. It was a desire for my heart to be different.

So what changed in me? Little things started the change. I quit smoking overnight. I quit over eating to fill the void in my heart. I quit drinking so that I would fit in. A change in who I was dependent on, from seeking out relationships with with people (OK, let’s be real, men) to a relationship with God. Getting to know who Jesus is and become willing to open my hands and ask the Holy Spirit into my life as a guide.

I got a soul friend, a spiritual director, a partner in Faith, whatever you wanna call it but someone who I could wrestle with my insecurities and who would hear from the Holy Spirit and talk me through it. And I opened my heart up more to ask God where I need to change.

Someone asked me the other day how long it takes to change and become more like Jesus. I had to remind them, and me, that we are made in the image of God, but we are not God. We will never be perfect. Our journey will never end until it ends. That means for the rest of our lives, we get to have a close dependent relationship with the Lord.

This morning, I woke to a vision of Angels. I never really believed in angels before. I have come to believe that spiritual and human angels led me to an understanding of what God wants to do in my life. Just like Paul, these angles helped break the chains that bound me to behaviors I needed to relinquish. And just like Paul, they led me out of the darkness and into the light. (acts 12:5-1)

When I sit in that light and when I breathe in the Holy Spirit, I can feel a presence unlike anything else and I know that God isn’t finished with me yet. I am thankful for what he has done, and trust that there is more to come. I’m not as young as I used to be, my body doesn’t jump as quickly; however, my heart still does. I’m still asking how he wants me to change, and working on that change. I’m asking what he wants me to do in this part of my life, and that gives me energy and excitement.

I encourage you to read Romans 8. Learn about living life in the Spirit and God’s desire to transform our lives- together! One little word of advice from Paul:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭NIVUK‬‬

Peace be with you friends.

Categories
Transformation Stories

The Path to New Life

Life is a journey of finding our meaning, finding our purpose, and stepping forward into the place we believe we are called to live. For years, I have had a vision of a cobblestone path when I meditate or pray. There are times the path is dark, other times the stones are bright. It has been surrounded by flowers; at times it is just grass and even unplanted fields. During really special times of prayer, I often have an overwhelming sense of the Lord guiding me on the path and it always appears more inviting then!

Every pilgrimage toward meaning and purpose begins with a first step and a base upon which we gingerly lay stones of uncertainty. The stones we lay are different; each telling a story of the unique steps taken. Some have been forcefully thrown on my path without care for the impact. Those are the ones that cause me to trip and fall off the path. The ones that make me unsteady in my journey. They are the ones that also compelled me to cry out to God. Help me! Change me! Don’t leave me here.

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Living Loving Serving

The Gift of my Church Community

This has been the summer I fully embraced the community of my church family. The one where I attend services and the one that has connected me with some life-long friends and acquaintances. It has been a summer of gathering together socially and spiritually. Mostly, it has been the best time I have had in years and I am beyond grateful.

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Living Loving Serving

Pride Family

Are you a parent or grandparent with dreams that your child will find love and happiness in life? Are you finding out that child or grandchild is part of the LGBTQ+ community and trying to come to terms with it as it counters what your faith tells you? Have you prayed because you love this child and are still trusting that God is with them, as he has been all their life- even though it may mean you have to reconsider everything you once believed?

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Living Loving Serving

Muted and Listening

It’s time for some of us to stop talking and start listening and hearing. Whites have had the floor for a long time now. We have had the upper hand and have misused our privilege. Intentionally or unintentionally, people have been suppressed, held down, beaten, taken advantage of, and disregarded as members of our society.

Categories
Transformation Stories

Change is Possible

I’ve been reading a lot more during this time home alone. Mostly I have been reading about the way God can completely change who we are, if we are willing to open that door. I know he has changed my heart, my thinking, and my desires in many unexpected ways. I know God has forgiven me in ways people never have. I know I have found peace in that forgiveness and a greater willingness to offer that same mercy and grace to others. It all started with God moving in my life when I opened myself to his ways over my ways.

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The Lighter Walk

Shifting to The Lighter Walk

Life has a way of sending us in new directions. I have walked many roads in my day, many that have not been easy.  The past few years have been less complex as I continue to learn how to make my life less complicated.

And now I am ready for The Lighter Walk.

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I have a deep faith in the transformative power of Jesus Christ in my life. I continue to develop a rich personal relationship with God. I have learned to let the words in the pages of my bible come to life and guide me through the Holy Spirit. When I am willing to look, I see God in the world around me. I have come to appreciate the connection between those wonderful words, nature, and the way in which my heart and mind are more open in those spaces.

I am ready for life to be less complicated. I don’t need to walk a thousand miles to find myself or to find God. I don’t need to embark on a foreign adventure to find what is already inside my heart and soul. I do; however, need to open my bible, open my eyes, open my ears, and become willing to receive the love God has surrounded me with here where I live and any where my feet carry me.

I need to let the light into the darker places from journey’s past and walk in a lighter direction.

img_2350-1What does that mean for this blog? It means I will slowly begin to turn this over to The Lighter Walk. It means that I am going to start walking in nature here, and near, where I live. It will start with a simple walk in the parks, the fields, the mountains, and the beaches around me in Virginia.

The Lighter Walk is a journey I hope you will join me on. I hope that as I step out you might want to walk with me and share what God is doing in your life. I hope that we will discover that if we keep it simple, we will simply hear and be with God

More to come, but for today I am letting go of other people’s expectation about how a walk with the Lord should look. I am letting go of the notion that we need some complex deep theological angle to meet with God. I am letting go of all that has held me back and starting a simple lighter walk with God.

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Living Loving Serving

The Love of My Life

How many times do we hear people say that someone they are in a relationship with is the love of their life–until they break up and move on to the next “love.” In a culture that seemingly embraces divorce it is hard to imagine that any one person can be the love of our life. Today many young people are rejecting the marriage norm and instead are moving from relationship to relationship when boredom or routine settles in.

I used to be one of those serial lovers–always looking for my soulmate or one true love. I have been fortunate to experience that kind of love a couple of times in my life but I sensed that something was missing. Its because the kind of love I want can’t really be found in a mortal man. I wanted unconditional, all forgiving, all loving, and perfect love. Pretty hard expectations to place on another mere human.

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Coaching Tips and Exercises Living Loving Serving

Inspired Change

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Have you ever found yourself in a place where you know something has to change but you aren’t sure what next step to take? Have you stayed in a place out of a sense of obligation when you know something isn’t right? Have you wondered if it is time to move on yet you feel trapped or you fear the change?

I think we all have these struggles from time to time. Change is a choice. We can choose to stay in the uncomfortable zone and ‘suffer through’ it or we can choose to ask for help to discern which next step to take. For me, this decision starts with prayer and asking others to pray with me so that I can get out of my head and away from emotions that might influence my decision to stay or to bolt.

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