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The Lighter Walk

Learning Love from our Four-legged Friends

I swore I would never have another dog. I have been spoiled by too many sweet pets in the past. I used to say that the perfect dog would have to find me because I wasn’t going looking. I just couldn’t imagine any new animal finding a way into my heart again like the previous ones had. 

And then along came Buddy.

Buddy Rescued!

All of my dogs have been rescues. Buddy was a special kind of rescue. He had been abandoned and stood barking on a dock, waiting for someone to hear him. We did,  and when he jumped up into the car and onto my lap, I knew he was a keeper. We would find out later that this was the third time he had been abandoned, and so leaving him in the shelter was a tough thing to do. As I waited out the 10 days for him to be legally free to come home, I questioned whether I was making the right decision.

And then it became clear that God had indeed “dropped him in my lap” to love and care for him. 

Bringing home a new dog with a history can be a little bit of a challenge. He is what we call a “reactive” dog. He’s a Chihuahua so that makes it even more complicated. I’ve come to understand that a reactive dog is kind of like a human who is anxious and may be suffering a little PTSD. The problem is our four-legged friends can’t really tell us what’s wrong and so unlike humans they bark and they growl and they jump around, hoping we will help them. At first it made me a little crazy, but now I understand that it’s his way of telling me: “Get me out of here- I don’t feel safe.” and it is my job to make sure he does feel safe.

Back from the groomer where he was an angel!

I’ve learned a lot about patience with him as we try different ways for him to be less reactive. He’s doing better now with other people—sometimes it’s just a slight “grrrr,” other times he loses his mind until I can snap him out of it or remove him from the situation. He’s helped me to recognize those signs in the humans around me too, and to be more patient and kind with them. Sometimes we humans need a safe space too! 

The thing with Rescue Dogs is you never really know what their situation was before they came into our lives. They may have been hurt and not loved by their owners. They may have been neglected or ignored in their homes. They may have had someone who was unkind and intimidated and yelled at them. The same is true for humans. We never really know what’s going on in someone’s past until we take time get to know them. So we tend to judge based on what we think we are seeing without knowing the backstory. We become impatient and judgmental and dismissive of others while the model of Jesus calls us to be patient, understanding, and kind. We so easily forget when people don’t measure up to our “standards.”

The apostle Peter talked about kindness coming from the Lord and how we learned to be kind because of the way Jesus taught us. Jesus taught us to be patient, and to be humble around those who need our love the most. It isn’t always easy, especially when someone is reactive to a situation. But love them we must, because after all, we are loved and should be compelled to pass that love and care to others. I wonder what it would look like if we applied the same patience, kindness, and even forgiveness we show our pets to our humans? 

So we added Buddy to the family of an unorthodox beagle, Olie, who is the opposite of Buddy. He was rescued from a farm where beagles were raised and mistreated. It took him a while too to trust us, and then to be able to trust others around him. In learning to trust us, he has learned to trust others. I think that’s what Jesus does right? We learned to trust God through him and then we learn to share that love and trust with others so that they can have that peace.

And then there is Rufus. We found Rufus in a shelter, emaciated and sad. His previous owner had accidentally closed the door on him and damaged his spine, so he wasn’t able to completely walk. It also meant he had a lot of accidents inside the house because he couldn’t go out or control his bladder. He was one unhappy little Chiweenie and also the most loving little fella- with a mighty bark! In Rufus we learned how to love and care for those in need. To forgive accidents or things beyond control. To be patient and kind as we care for those who can’t care for themselves. Now he is one happy puppy beginning the decline of old age. Love him we do.

Rufus and his wheels!

There is a saying about rescues. We think we are rescuing them, when in fact they rescue us. I didn’t know I needed to have someone to come home to every night, who needed attention and who needed to get outside in God‘s creation. But God did. He knew I needed a buddy in my life as much as Buddy needed me. So here he is in his fourth home, and I hope his last. I’ve had so many fun little journeys already and I look forward to the years with him, and with Olie and Rufus, who live with their “other” parents now. Each day I learn a little bit more about myself because of them.

So if you think you need a little extra love in your life, I encourage you to seek out the Humane Society, a local shelter, or a dog or cat rescue organization. They will work to help you find just the right friend who needs you as much as you need them. I pray you will bring that joy into your home and increase your family’s love for one of God‘s little creations. I think what an honor it is to be able to look after one of God‘s creations. It’s just that simple.

Categories
Living Loving Serving The Lighter Walk

Fanning the Flames of Hope and Love in the Darkness

I met with a small group of action-minded, concerned people recently. I listened as we went around the room and each shared their sadness, and their anger, over what’s been happening in our nation since the beginning of the new year. As each spoke about our shared grief over military violence in other countries, and in our own streets here in America, each had an undercurrent of hope and love.

That’s what faith does to us. Faith doesn’t say ignore the wrongs in the world. Faith is praying and seeking the face of God, and then acting according to his will. Faith says we have hope in a higher power to shine the light into the darkness we live. Faith says “Here I am Lord,” and means it.

I was also reminded that action in the dark times means different things to different people. Just as each of us who follow Jesus are given different gifts to share and to serve one another as a way to bring the love of Jesus to the world; each of us may be called into action in different ways in this dark time of our nation.

Start on your knees, or whatever your prayer posture is. Soak in the love of Jesus. Sit in the deep love of the Creator. Invite the Holy Spirit to fill you with wisdom and knowledge about what you are to do next. Are you called to be the prayer warrior? Are you called to be the protester on the street? Are you called to be a human barrier protecting the disadvantaged? Are you called to bring food to those afraid to leave their homes? Are you called to clap back against racism and negative comments about fellow citizens?

Answer the call.

Jesus spoke clearly about how God views the way we treat our fellow humans: “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭45‬ ‭NRSVUE‬‬

Th‬‬e same as true in what we do to one another. Are we looking for the face of God in every person? If we are to truly believe that each person is made in the image of God and loved by that same God, who are we to degrade them? Who are we to treat them as less than human? Who are we to disobey the Word of the Lord? And who are we if we fail to love and care for them and to protect them as we would want to be loved and protected? Are we showing the face of a loving God to them?

It breaks our heart when we see professing Christian treat each other in such inhumane ways. It tears us apart when we see a history of violence against one type of person, or one type of religion, that isn’t like ours. It overwhelms us to think that we are on the brink of repeating the cruelty of power-hungry violet leaders in our recent past. We weep for one another and with each other.

And in our weeping, we still have hope. In our weeping, we come to the Lord, confessing our own inadequacies and ungodly thoughts. We come to the Lord seeking forgiveness and restoration. We come to the Lord seeking love and compassion. We fill up all the cracks in our heart with love and compassion, and then we move forward with that same compassion.

Take the light into darkness today. Keep the light of hope lit. Be that light for someone today.

Categories
The Lighter Walk

Returning to Hope this Year

Reading the lectionary for this past Sunday I kept returning to the words in John 1:

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.”

Such a gift of hope we have been given.

I know many of my friends feel as if they have been walking in darkness the past year. It has been a troubling year for many reasons. Some political. Some personal. Some beyond our control and some of our own making.

Darkness can feel so overwhelming. For some it is blanketed in a shame that you can’t seem to see beyond current circumstances. In the darkness, it can be difficult to find hope. And yet it is hope that brings us out of the darkness. It is hope that shines a light on our circumstances and gives us the strength to take that next step forward.

I am obsessed with the sunrise. There is something so incredibly life-giving to me to watch the sun rise as it pushes out the darkness out of the night. Some mornings, the skies are bright and colorful, other days the sun can barely break through the cloud of haze. And yet each morning I get up in time to see that sunrise. Mornings when I sleep in and miss it, I feel like I have missed the best part of my day. It is as if I have missed the renewal of life.

Equally so, sunset with its bright colors reminds me that as we go into the dark of the night, God is still present with us. The slow setting of the sun helps us let go of the day. Maybe that day was full of joy, or maybe that day was full of despair. Maybe we feel we did all the good things that day and maybe we feel the weight of the ways in which we wish we had acted better. And so in the sunset, I find myself letting it go and asking God to forgive me as we walk into the dark of the night, together.

Stepping into the new year, I want to focus on the light that shines even in the midst of darkness. I want to focus on hope and how to bring that hope to others. I don’t want to lose sight of trusting in God. I don’t want to forget to breathe in the Holy Spirit and let her guide me. I don’t want to forget the love that Jesus showed us and commanded us to give to one another. I want to focus on those things instead of the darkness.

We have the power to bring darkness or light into our world through our beliefs and actions. We can either tear down someone or lift them up. We can see only disagreement or we can find common ground. We can wallow in despair over current events or we can take steps to change things for the better. We can bring the light of Jesus’ love…or disregard his purpose for coming to earth as a person to teach us love and goodness and give all hope.

Be the light to others

So I encourage you in this new year to have a new season of light. Find people who are seeking to bring light into the darkness and partner with them. Find a program that inspires you and brings you joy, and then share that joy with others. Let the light of the Lord be the light that others see as you let go of the darkness. It isn’t going anywhere, unless you bring light into it. We can sit in despair and darkness and moaning; or we can move towards the light and hope that Jesus brought to us. Let that not go to waste in our day. Let us choose light for ourselves and others.

Categories
friendship Living in Singleness

As Simple as “Hello“

I’m at a transition point again. Leaving one group that I’ve been a part of for many years and looking for where I belong next. One of the most important things for me is to feel connected and a part of something bigger than myself. But that’s also really intimidating.

So I’ve dipped my toe into a few places. It hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Because all it takes is a simple “hello” to make one feel seen and welcome. Have you ever noticed the way someone lights up because someone smiled at them or said “Hello”? It’s amazing what one five-letter word can do for a person’s self worth.

My daughter is a nanny to a couple of really sweet girls. Every now and then they FaceTime me. It is so much fun because as soon as they see my face they start waving. I wave back and it’s just a hello- hello, back-and-forth. It’s probably one of the high points of my day because they are so excited to be seen and recognized and I get to be a part of their joy.

These days, we all seem to be walking around with a lot of stress and maybe even fear. There are so many perceived disagreements between us about country, faith, and even how to celebrate the holidays. I have discovered that merely smiling at someone in the grocery store usually elicits a smile back and in that brief moment of connection, each of us seem to say, we aren’t alone. I see you and you matter. It’s so simple to make someone’s day when you think about it.

I think about those times when I’ve seen a friend across the parking lot and run to them for a hug. The hug is the Hello. It says everything about how much we cherish one another. It is so childlike in its simplicity. And so very good for the soul.

I challenge you in the weeks ahead to just smile and say hello as you walk around. Take a moment at the checkout to ask how they are doing and to thank them for what they are doing. Take a risk and say hello to someone that you normally wouldn’t have a conversation with. The best relationships all began with.”hello.” Who knows what next relationship is waiting for you beyond that simple five-letter word. 

Categories
Living Loving Serving

I Hear You, and Still I Linger

Each day I have the opportunity to choose to sit with God. I get to choose if I will spend a little bit of my day, reading the Word and allowing it to sink into my heart. Each day, I have the opportunity to sit with my hands open and listen for that small voice to speak to me. Each day I have a choice to hear from God.

Some days I choose to start my day in meditation. It always changes everything about my day because those words sit with me. It’s like feeding on the word fills me up and gives me strength to be positive to be kind to be compassionate. I don’t do so well without those words filling me up.

I have the choice of sitting with God in the afternoon. I’m busy trying to get all my steps in,, trying to lose weight. Trying to be healthier. And it’s so easy to turn my app on and listen to the word and be filled again and again. But it’s my choice.

I have the choice to meet with him before I go to bed. I can scroll through everyone else’s story, or I can sit with his story and let that help me to fall asleep. I seldom choose that one. I usually fall asleep to some silly show that I’ve watched 100 times. The nights I do listen to the Word before I fall asleep, I know my dreams will be better. I know I will sleep better. But it isn’t always the choice that I make.

And when I take time to be in those moments with God, he does speak to me. I hear those words and I listen to them over and over and I ask Lord: “What do you want me to take from that today?” Recently in the mountains of North Carolina he spoke very clearly to me through others who prayed with me. He told me I was done with something that I had held tightly for too months now. In fact, it had become my identity. Oh yeah, I was his servant, but I was known and seen and mostly appreciated. But he said it was time to let that go because it was no longer healthy spiritually or emotionally for me.

He gave me a new place to land. A safe place. A place where I could heal and place where I could spend more time with him, if I chose to do. And still, I linger in the past that he has said to let go of. It’s funny how our own self-worth – the identity we choose for ourselves – can trap us in a place where God no longer wants to use us.

I need to listen. I need to go. I need to follow. I think today about those people who left everything to physically follow Jesus. Their life wasn’t easy, but I believe it was better. When we drop the thing that we are holding so tightly, and open our hands to receive the love of God, the blessing of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of Jesus we can step into the unknown, trusting, having faith. I do believe God will use us in ways that we could never begin to imagine.

Take that step. Spend time with the Lord and ask him what the next right step is to take Do the next right thing for him, because of him, and because he loves you enough to lead you down that right path.

“I waited and waited and waited for God. At last he looked; finally he listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭40‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Categories
Aging in Grace

The Face I Have

Have you ever had a moment of looking in the mirror and wondering who that person is looking back at you? I think we all have times when the person we see in our mind is not necessarily the physical person that everyone else sees. For me, I want to have the face that shows love and kindness, and if I’m honest, I want a face that shows youthfulness! But the reality is my face shows the years of living, and they weren’t always great years. I hope that my eyes at least show what God has done with those years. I hope my eyes show the love of Jesus me who transformed my inner being.

Categories
Transformation Stories

The Path to New Life

Life is a journey of finding our meaning, finding our purpose, and stepping forward into the place we believe we are called to live. For years, I have had a vision of a cobblestone path when I meditate or pray. There are times the path is dark, other times the stones are bright. It has been surrounded by flowers; at times it is just grass and even unplanted fields. During really special times of prayer, I often have an overwhelming sense of the Lord guiding me on the path and it always appears more inviting then!

Every pilgrimage toward meaning and purpose begins with a first step and a base upon which we gingerly lay stones of uncertainty. The stones we lay are different; each telling a story of the unique steps taken. Some have been forcefully thrown on my path without care for the impact. Those are the ones that cause me to trip and fall off the path. The ones that make me unsteady in my journey. They are the ones that also compelled me to cry out to God. Help me! Change me! Don’t leave me here.

Categories
Living Loving Serving Transformation Stories

When Change Means Asking Hard Questions

I am one of those people who isn’t afraid to ask the tough question. I love to get people thinking about opposing viewpoints or scenarios. When these are thoughtful civil discussions, we can begin to see that the alternative perspective has merit. We can begin to incorporate those perspectives into our own and realize a change in ourselves.

Categories
Living in Singleness

Becoming Invisible in a Coronavirus World

We are in a new era of forced isolation. There is no telling how long this will last. For those in their late-50s and older, “social-distancing” could become the new norm for us because doctors can’t say if the Coronavirus, or an offshoot of it, may come back next year. For an age group that is already trying to stay physically fit and actively engaged, this is like a slow death sentence. Melanie Joosten, a researcher at the National Ageing Research Institute (NARI) wrote that aging women especially experience a growing sense of becoming invisible. This feeling could become more of a reality as we carefully choose our external activities and social/work relationships to protect our health.

Women feel this sense of social isolation and lack of relevance much more than do men, according to coach Dr. Louise Mahler. In a 2016 NY TimesDr. Dhruv Khullar wrote: “About one-third of Americans older than 65 now live alone, and half of those over 85 do. People in poorer health — especially those with mood disorders like anxiety and depression — are more likely to feel lonely. ” He continues to explain that social separation is bad for our physical, cognitive, and mental health and that those who are isolated from society tend to die within seven years. 

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The need to be seen as relevant and as a contributing member of society matters for those entering their ” twilight years.”  Regular social contact and involvement is key. Dr Khullar quoted one senior as saying: “Your world dies before you do.” For our older population that is even more real today than ever before. As I have spoken with seniors in my community the past few days, I am finding that while their faith is keeping their spirits up, they desperately miss even the little bit of friendly contact that came from socializing in the grocery store. No longer is the store, the coffee shop, the neighborhood diner, or their place of worship a available to them to get out of the house and interact with friends and family.

For many seniors, participation in their ministries and charitable organizations has been a lifeline and provides a sustained a sense of purpose and contribution to society. Religious organizations bring a sense of spirituality and connection with community. For those who continue to work, they have the opportunity to share their experience while learning new skills and keeping their minds sharp and engaged. Take that away and loneliness, isolation, and depression are likely to set in. This is even more true for older adults living alone who today are unable to meet family, see grandchildren,or  venture to their communities and jobs. 

‘You shall rise up before the gray headed and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the LORD.   

Leviticus 19:32

Technology has helped to bridge some of the gaps older adults are feeling during social distancing. Once they get the hang of all the processes available to them to video chat and participate in streaming religious services or exercise classes, they may feel a momentary sense of connection and belonging. However, the crucial piece is to help them find relevance and purpose. If all they do is take in information they still lack an ability to contribute to society. This could lead to a greater level of social anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, according to Good Therapy.  These factors tend to be more prominent in women; however, because of  their tendency toward transparency in expressing loneliness. This again goes back to a societal response that respects maturing men over aging women and the notion that men still have something to contribute despite their age.

So what can we do in this period of forced isolation? Reach out on a regular basis to your older friends and family. Find a video platform that they are comfortable using because it helps to actually see the faces of our friends and family. Find some way for them to help. Maybe they can write letters or make phone calls to people in their religious and charitable organizations. Visit them from a safe social distance. Give them tasks to complete for which they are responsible. Acknowledge their skills and contributions, no matter how minor. Help our senior citizens feel that they are respected, needed, and connected and they will come through this crisis stronger and more engaged then ever before. 


Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the day approaching. Hebrews 10


 

 

 

Categories
Living in Singleness Transformation Stories

Living Single

Living single is not always easy. Single, no matter if you are there because you never married, divorced, or lost a spouse, has challenges that most marrieds don’t appreciate. Sure, we have freedom to do what we want to do when we want to do it, but we live in a world  that focuses on married or coupled people and often we can feel excluded.

Single means making our own decisions. It means not having that spouse to turn to and discuss an upcoming surgery. Single means asking all our friends for their advice and then making a decision. It often means nursing ourselves when we are ill and suffering alone because we don’t want to burden our friends.

Living single has its challenges and it has its blessings.

We have so much to offer. We have so many opportunities to live a life of giving and community. We have the ability to step out of our homes and develop new relationships with other singles just for the purpose of being friends linked through a passion. We are not a sorry bunch but a blessed bunch and we need to start living the lives that God has given us.

Singles need each other. We need to hear each other’s stories and to encourage one another during those dark days. We need to speak strength into our circumstances and embrace all that we can do because of our situation.  We need to look for opportunities to meet other singles and forge new uplifting relationships.

So get out their friends. Look for ministries in your religious organizations where you heart leads you to serve. Look for sporting events where you can meet other singles. Look around you and when you see another single sitting alone, go sit with them. When you hear of a sick single, call and offer help. When someone goes through a divorce or the loss of a spouse, walk with them until they are stronger.

We all have purpose no matter our circumstances. God can use us if we are willing to get over the notion that we are of less value than coupled people because we live alone. Be willing friends, be willing.

Faith without Good Deeds Is Dead (James 2)

 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 1Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing,  and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless

 

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