Categories
My Faith & Transformation Journey

Holding onto the First Stone

Social media has increasingly been lit up with negative comments, finger-pointing, and divisive language over our ever-changing culture. We sit in wait for those with whom we disagree to slip up—no we wait in joyful anticipation for them to fall off the cliff. We are quick to call out the sins and errors of our opponents or of those whose world view differs from ours. We are ready to stone and destroy anyone who threatens our sense of what is morally right. I have been amazed at the sheer volume of glee exhibited in the face of bad behavior or failure. I am talking predominately about celebrities and politicians over whom we happily celebrate their public humiliation. But we also wait to see colleagues, ex-friends and lovers, family, and even churches to which we once belonged tumble. Somehow it makes us feel better to point out the error in their ways. I think the negative postings are showing our own hearts and an overwhelming desire to be more right rather than to understand what has happened and to talk about what we want for ourselves and society.

There is a wonderful story about a woman brought to Jesus at the end of the Feast of the Tabernacles.  The woman, likely a married woman, was found in the bed of a married man who was not her husband. The church leaders bring her to Jesus to stone her according to the Law of Moses, although in reality it is to set a trap to see if Jesus will agree to stone her or let her go. What he does instead puts the decision back on her accusers by saying: “If any of you are without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Of course they all drop their rocks leaving the woman behind to go free and change from how she is living her life. We too need to drop our rocks.

It saddens me when a politician, of any party, messes up. It is an awful day for all of us when someone we entrusted to make good decisions for our country is found to be an adulterer, a molester, a thief, or reckless in some other way. It doesn’t matter which side of political fence you are on—this is bad for all of us. But the truth is: we are not without sin. Maybe not their sin, but we have our own. Before we gleefully celebrate the fall of a man or woman in power, let’s pray that God will deal with their behavior and pray for their recovery. And let us take time to ask God to show us our own failings that we too might change. Let’s be hurt and disappointed as well as compassionate instead of  flooding Facebook or Twitter with comments pointing out how they have, expectedly, fallen so far down. Put the stone down.

Maybe you are upset about changes in laws regarding same-sex relationships. Maybe you are angry about a former athlete who has made dramatic changes in his life to live in a way that goes against everything you believe. You may be angry that your belief system is being circumvented. You may hate what you believe to be a sinful nature. However, are you looking past all the rhetoric to see the people involved here? Regardless of what you believe, can you not see the hurt in these people and pray that they will find peace and joy from the inside out?  I am not asking you to walk away from your religious beliefs, I am asking you to look at them with love and kindness. You know, Jesus walked among the sinners. He stopped and talked to them about themselves. He knew already knew about them but he still listened to their stories. He compassionately talked to them about their behaviors and encouraged them to accept a new way of life. Maybe if we take time to listen and to better know each other, we can get beyond our hateful behavior and grow in God’s community together. Maybe we can stop making fun of people and start seeing who God sees and love as he told us to love. Maybe we can see God in them and love them too. Maybe we can drop the rock and see the person inside—a person made in God’s image.

When the celebrities we idolize for their good looks, their money, and their success fall into drunkenness, drug abuse, or marital woes, could we not laugh and celebrate their private failure gone public? Could we first stop idolizing them as earthly gods and see them as people just like us who are going through a painful time? Could we remember that as a part of humanity we all have the potential to find ourselves in the same sorrowful situation? Rather than flooding social media with all the articles about these public failures, maybe we should first look at our own lives and areas in our relationships that need improvement. Maybe we can ask God to show us if we are heading down a slippery slope that might end in addiction or divorce so that we can change the progression down our own path of self-destruction. In today’s world of social media we begin to think that these celebrities are people we actually know. Rather than focus on them, how about we look around and see if there is someone close to us that we can help. Is there someone you see suffering some form of addiction? Do you know of someone in a troubled relationship? How can God use you to help them? Can you put down the stone we throw to hide our own shortcomings and work for personal improvement? Take the stone they are carrying and help them.

These are but a few examples of the way we react to adversity today. If we go back to the story of the sinful woman we hear Jesus say that he is the light of world sent to bring light into our moral darkness. HE brings the light—it is not our responsibility to be about casting stones. I am not suggesting that anyone abandon their faith-led beliefs or worldviews. What I am suggesting is that we step down from the roles of judge and jury and we step into a world of discussion and clarity. Anyone who wants to change the mind of another must first understand the heart of the other and share their perspective in a loving way. So yes, put down the rock. Drop the name calling. Stop crucifying those who you believe live in sin or who may be in trouble because of their life choice. Stop making fun of people who live in a way you just can’t wrap your head around and ask them to help you understand. Stop looking and waiting for someone else’s missteps and look at your own vulnerabilities and behavior. Then you can begin to talk about what is going on in the world around you without animosity. Take the time to look into the eyes of those on the other side. See their heart. Reach a hand across the table and as you hear their story, share your story. Let God take care of what God needs to take care of. Become a real lover of man.

Drop the Rock.

Categories
Coaching Tips and Exercises My Faith & Transformation Journey

Measure Your Day

It’s a new month. It’s the start of a new week. It’s time to evaluate where you are, where you want to be, and what you need to do bridge that gap. It’s time to plan for the month, the week, and the day ahead. It is time to make every day count.

Each day that we are given is a day to build on all the previous days and each one of those days lays a foundation for our future. Therefore, it is important that you invest your time doing something, no matter how small, to move you closer to reaching your goal. What’s that you say? Yesterday was awful. You couldn’t find time to do anything to support your goal? You are stuck in a job that doesn’t align with your long-term goal.  Are you filled with “I can’t…,”  “I didn’t…,” and “I wish…” statements that are holding you back and focused on your lack of success?

If you look back and all you see is failure and you feel like you will never get to where you want to be; it is time to change your thinking about those situations!

Every day provides an opportunity for you, even the days that didn’t go so well for you.  You have to be willing to find that opening, rather than focus on all the other thousands of moments that don’t match your plan. All it takes is one action each day to keep moving forward. You have to decide what that action is today and then do it. Maybe that action is looking at what didn’t work so well yesterday and correcting how you will respond today. Maybe it is looking for something new that supports your long-term goal, even if it means taking a risk. And maybe it is as simple as accepting that you are where you need to be today because this is the point from which God wants you to grow. Maybe you aren’t stuck; you just aren’t seeing the potential in where you are in your life today.

It’s the season for basketball and hockey playoffs. I have watched these players rise to the challenge after a night of demoralizing loss. They have a choice—throw in the towel and book their flights home or come out ready to win. They have to believe that they can rise above their setback and believe that today they can be more productive. Some teams will of course end up packing their bags as another team moves forward toward the shiny trophy. For those who leave unsatisfied there is no question that they will look at what didn’t work and make a correction—build on their ‘failure’ to improve in the next game or the next series. Even the winners are looking at what didn’t work so that they can improve their odds in the next game. They never stop trying to be better. They never stop working their plan, even if it is to watch tapes or talk to someone about their performance.

Are you looking at your ‘failures’ and ‘mistakes’ as a way to improve? Are you capitalizing on what doesn’t work so you can find what does?

If you are going to focus on what has yet to happen for you or what you did wrong or how difficult your journey forward is, you will never reach your goal. I can almost promise you that. However, if you are going to look at the missed opportunities or mistakes in the previous days, I suggest you do it with an eye to make some course corrections. Do not focus on what didn’t work but focus on how to improve today. Although there may be some things beyond your power to change right now, you have the power to make where you are work for you. Ask yourself what you can do in the midst of your circumstances to build a bridge, plank by plank, in your plan. Don’t waste another minute measuring your failures. Measure your day by what you have done right and what you will do right in the moments ahead. Measure your day by what God is doing in your life and find joy in knowing that you can learn and grow and keep moving forward. It will change everything you do to simply measure your day well.

“What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient?” Job 6:11