friends – maggiemarcum

Circle of Friends to Circle of Family

This past week I witnessed an amazing outpouring of love and generosity toward a young woman and her children, who without warning, lost their husband and father. I don’t know anything about them or their family other than that they are close friends of someone I know. What I do know is that this broken-hearted family was, and is, surrounded by friends from all over the globe. Not only have they raised an enormous amount of money to help them rethink their futures, this incredible group of friends has loved them in the way a family should—never leaving them and ensuring them that they will not be walking forward alone. I have been blessed and inspired as this story continues to unfold.

As someone living as a single with virtually no family ties, I worry about my own adult daughter and how she will do when my time comes. She has no family to fall back on. I know I am not the only single parent who thinks about these things. We boomers think about it even more, especially if we have children who haven’t quite made it on their own yet and may still be living at home with us. The 2011 US Census reports that 27 percent of American children under 18 live with one parent of which 87 percent live with their mother. Another four percent do not live with parents of which 57 percent live with a grandparent. Additionally, the number of adults from 25 to 34 living at home has risen, and continues to rise.

Turn the Pity Party Around

Every now and then, even the happiest, most optimistic person can slip into a little pity party or period of sad. Yesterday was my day. It was a day spent with a good friend but also a day missed with another, that I should not have missed. I have found that the best way to combat the negative thinking and self-flagellation is to reach out to others. I reach out first to see how they are and what their needs are or I reach out and tell someone I am having one of those days and need some friend time. Everything changes when I get out of myself.

Jesus spoke to the disciples, as recorded in Mark 10:42-45, about the role of leaders. It is to put others first and to serve others first. There is something to be said about getting out of our own way and into the needs of others. Somehow it lifts our pain. It is not always easy to see the needs of others when we want someone to see our needs. If we are drowning in emotion, it will take effort to put someone else first. It may take tremendous effort to come when called by a friend in need when we think we have nothing to give. Do it any way!

I find I may actually be more willing to expend effort for the benefit of another person than I am for myself. Rather than sit in my robe all day watching mindless TV, I force myself to dress and meet someone. Now I have energy. Now I am motivated to move. Now I have changed from looking at my problems to the joy of spending time listening to someone else. My mood will change, even if just for those few hours away. My alone picture is erased. I have hope. I have peace. I have a warm sense of belonging. All because I let God take me to another place.

Try it. I promise your pity party will change to a have blessing party instead!!

“Whoever wants to be a leader among you first must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be the slave of all. For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 11: 43-45