One heart stops
One heart beats
Life goes on
Alone
Heaven sent
Earthly bound
Memories
Forever
One life done
One begun
New living
Forward
Seeing God
Trusting God
Life again
Promised
©maggiemarcum.com
Categories
Alone
Tag: God
One of the hardest and seemingly easiest commands Jesus gave us was to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus understood that if we carried resentments and bitterness in our hearts, it was ourselves we were hurting. He also understood that if we shared our resentments with others in our lives that negativity would lead us to destroy each other with our hatred and anger.
We have a choice, spread our angers and resentments with those around us or
share a grace and hope that encourages others toward forgiveness and love.
We have all had our hearts trampled on at some point in our lives. Some of have been wounded in ways unmentionable. Some have been hurt by people we trusted and whom we thought loved us. Some have been mistreated at work and taken advantage of. We have all had people disappoint us or fail to live up to the standards we expect. We have all been “wronged” or slighted by someone, even if unintentional.
Consider that some who hurt us are wounded children who have yet to face the trauma in their lives and still suffer. Perhaps the person who hurt you is replicating a behavior foisted upon them. Maybe they were never taught how to treat another with respect and love. Even the monsters may not know why they do what they do. It is possible that they have not yet been blessed to know forgiveness and a supernatural love in their lives.
I’m not saying that people who commit atrocities against another shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions– they should. What I am saying is: you should not carry their sin or negative behavior with you and allow it to destroy you as well. Rather, pray for a changed heart for yourself. Pray that you will see the person who hurt you through God’s eyes– with sadness and hope for redemption. And pray that through your loving Christ-like behavior they will be inspired to seek forgiveness and transformation. Pray that others will be changed in a positive way when they witness your behavior.
When anger and resentment bubble up in us, pray that we see the wounded
child God sees and pray that we act with love and grace toward them that
they may see God’s love.
Let this be the day you begin to let go of the anger, bitterness, and resentment you have toward another. Let this be the day that you see God in them rather than the behavior that has wounded you. Let this be the day you stop complaining about all the wrong things they have done or do, and ask God to show you who he sees. Let this be the day you stop feeling persecuted and realize the freedom God wants for you to have in your life. Let this be the day you reflect back God’s love to all in your life. Seek justice and when you do, pray for the one you impeach so that you will be set free from the bonds of their actions. These are the first steps taken to move through the fire and into fresh air. Breathe in all that is good and breathe out all that could trap you.
Be set free.
“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” Galatians 5:14-15
My search for something meaningful or purposeful about my life led me down many paths, and not all of them were roads I should have traveled. I tried devoting myself to work and taking jobs that I thought would make me feel important or relevant. I tried relationships that I thought would meet all my needs but they never filled all the gaps. I tried a different sort of ‘religion’ in Scientology, and that only confused my life more. I tried drinking and drugging in my younger days to fit in and that was all pretend living too. I tried just being “spiritual” but failed to find any real direction and ended up listening to my own messed up self for guidance. It took me several tries over the years to come to a new point in my life:
“God blesses those who realize their need for him” (Matthew 5: 3—The Beatitudes, NLT)
I was looking in all the wrong places! The NIV version says “Blessed are the poor in spirit” while the Message says, “You’re blessed when you feel you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.” I was like a beggar trying every new spiritual movement out there in the hopes of feeling fulfilled in my life. I knew Jesus. I grew up with Jesus. I just didn’t think he was enough for me and I hungered for something more to make me feel relevant in this universe.
I didn’t need to be one with the universe—the same universe that God created. I needed to be one with the creator. I didn’t need to empty my head; I needed to breathe in the Holy Spirit and divine inspiration. I didn’t need to draw energy from another human; I needed to draw inspiration from God’s word to us and through a quiet time of prayer with him. I didn’t need a new religion, I needed to grow in my own faith—the one passed down through generations of believers. My dedication to hearing God’s word spoken for me led me to a spiritual awakening like no other.
I need God in my life. I need Jesus in my life. I need prayer and meditation in my life. I came to the end of my rope and God was waiting for me. Waiting to pick me up, dust me off, forgive me, and set me on a new course. For me, there is one God in whom I trust. Today I only look for ways to grow in that relationship and if work, relationships, spiritual groups, or things I put in my body don’t lead me in that direction, then I don’t need them.
Do you need something more in your life—something other than your own voice in your head? Are you looking for a new spiritual life? Do you want to experience a transformation that brings you peace and joy? Are you ready to step into the light and feel the warmth of the Holy Spirit? I encourage you to reach out to someone today that can guide you in that direction. Find a life coach, counselor or religious leader and tell them you are ready to start exploring this kind of spiritual life. I promise you will never be the same.
Blessings,
Maggie
Categories
Morning Light
From my prayer seat;
I watch the sun slice into darkness.
God’s reminder of a fresh start.
Each new moment,
replacing the one before.
Light fills the sky;
Shades of yellow replacing the grey.
God’s workmanship revealed again.
Lighting the path,
I seek his inspiration.
Words become alive;
Perfect knowledge guiding the day.
Inspiration feeding the soul.
God’s grace and peace,
Strengthening and encouraging
The sun is up;
Light pushing darkness out of the day.
Words bringing hope to move ahead.
The Son with us,
Sharing his love in all I do.
The path well lit;
The body and spirit well fed.
Called out from my sanctuary.
Into the day,
Anticipating Glory
© maggiemarcum.com
See Psalm 139 and Romans 1-2
Categories
Sunday Dance
I love hockey, basketball, and baseball. If I’m at a game I will surely be screaming when my team scores, dancing and singing silly sports songs, and raising my hands to cheer on my team. Most of my “Sunday friends” who are also sports fans, have little inhibition about clapping their hands and shouting to praise their team’s accomplishments. We yell out the name of our favorite player at bat, thinking he will somehow hear his name and be uplifted. We chant for our goalie. We wear shirts with our favorite player’s name for the world to see and will challenge anyone who doubts why we support that team or that player. I don’t know why this environment allows us to let loose or why it is we are so quick to celebrate the accomplishment of men or women in sports—but for many of us it is second nature.
I wish our Sunday dance was more like that. We dress up all proper and put on our best clothes for the day. We enter church with polite “hellos” and courteous smiles. We might laugh a little but the disapproving stares of some can quickly shut that down. We solemnly sing our songs of praise and close our books with the last note. Maybe we lift our hand for a verse or two. We listen quietly to the stories of the Bible and seldom do we just shout out the name “Jesus” to lift him up. Even when we are treated to someone’s story about God’s healing grace in their life; we nod and maybe respectfully clap our approval. We stifle the joy and excitement we should have for our Lord.
I have heard it said that some think this sports-like behavior is too undignified for church. Can you imagine if we all showed up wearing a jersey with the name “Jesus” on the back? It reminds me of David Crowder’s song “Undignified.” Every time I hear it I think how much I want to be that person when I worship Jesus—and not just at a faith event, but every day.
I will dance
I will sing
I will be mad
For my King
Nothing Lord, is hindering
This passion in my soul (Dave Crowder)
Just like David in 2 Samuel 6, I feel inspired to dance foolishly to celebrate before the Lord. When I consider the amazing things God has done in my life, I feel compelled to stand up and cheer when I hear his name mentioned. And when someone shares their story about God healing them, I want to leap to my feet and clap out loud to praise this wonderful thing. Yet, unless I’m at a Crowder concert or similar faith event, I tend to politely clap with the others around me.
I think it is time for us to loudly celebrate the forgiveness we have through Jesus Christ. I think it is time to shout a loud “AMEN” when we agree with what the Holy Spirit can do in our life. I think it is time to be a little undignified in church and remember that we are there to worship and praise our God. This is a happy exciting thing we get to do with other believers on Sunday. This is God’s place he has given us to celebrate him!! If I can whoop about my team scoring a point—I can whoop about Jesus saving my life!! I want my praise of Jesus to be second nature. I want to be like David and leap for joy at all he has and is doing in my life. I want others to see how exciting this life of following Jesus Christ really is!!
© maggiemarcum.com
Categories
What Day this Day?
Sunrise is outside my window.
People are rushing in the cold air,
Into their cars or off to the bus.
I watch from my warm perch.
The day is firmly upon us.
Work and school are calling us to them,
Forcing us into this new day now.
And still I sit: watching.
Streams of “must do” thoughts fill my head.
Coffee in one hand, pen in the other,
I contemplate actions for today.
Knowing I can’t just watch.
I turn now from my window perch.
I’m just like the leaves flowing downstream,
following a path set before me.
From watcher to doer.
What path this morning of new days?
What achievements for this day of days?
What simple steps do I take forward?
The answers lie outside.
Into the world we throw ourselves.
We need not go it alone or blind.
Draw from the stream of his words and life.
Set the day on his path.
This day before the sunset comes.
I pray I saw more clearly God’s path,
for with his love and grace I moved on.
This day of days is his.
© maggiemarcum.com
I came to the place of a transformed person the hard way. I had a strong Christian heritage but it took a few walks on the wild side to solidify those beliefs for myself. As I write and share the story of my transformation journey, I do it so that others may learn from it. So that others may avoid some of the errors of my ways. So that others who have jumped off the path can get back on. So that those who have never thought they were on the path will see that God does indeed have a path set ahead for you and he is waiting for you to put one foot on and begin the healing.
When I reflect on my life it is easy to get hung up on the regrets. If only my parents had protected me more. If only I hadn’t acted out as a result of my family and sexual abuse. If only I had been less naïve in the financial decisions I made. If only I had _____: fill in the blank. So many times I have asked God to turn the clock back, just this one time so I would not do what I did. He never does. I never get the do-over I would like to have. Truth is, I probably would do something else equally stupid!
I actually have no regrets though. Each of the things that happened to me and that I did to me is part of the fabric of my salvation story. From the moment I personally accepted Jesus and asked the Holy Spirit to become my guide, God has lifted the veil on my behaviors and healed me. Layer by layer; step by step, I have been able to let go of the past and move forward.
It is a moving forward process, this forgiveness thing. God doesn’t want us to remain trapped by our behavior and bad choices. He wants us to learn from them, to grown from them, and to never repeat them. It has been harder to accept God’s forgiveness for some of those things and it has been harder to change some behavior than others. But I had a willingness to change. I was inspired by the lives of others around me. I was motivated to become a different person and slowly it is happening. Happening. I am still growing and changing and God is still revealing and I am learning.
This Sunday morning, leave your regrets at the altar. Pray a prayer of forgiveness. Let go of what you can’t change and ask what you can change today. Commit to not repeating those things which you consider sins or poor behavior. Move forward today. Accept a brighter future.
Have you had to let go of something and have you seen the change in your life? I would love to hear your story. Please leave a comment below that others may grow from your experience.
Blessings,
Maggie
© maggiemarcum.com
“These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who lives at the end of the age.” 1 Corinthians 10:11 New Living Translation
So today I started to write my blog as if I were someone else. I wanted to be clever and smart and theological. I wanted to sound like someone who is well educated and has had a successful career. I wanted to sound like the people whom I respect and try to gain their respect. I wanted to get the respect of people whom I think don’t value what I am doing. I stopped being the person God made and the person God led to tell this story. I lost my way there for a moment.
You see, there was a time in my life when I tried really hard to be someone else. If you didn’t like my behavior, I stuffed in the closet. If you didn’t like the way I looked, I starved myself and I stuffed the “fat” me in the closet. If someone thought I was too shy, I stuffed quiet me in the closet and let loud loose me out. Little by little I shoved everything I was into a closet so that other people would be impressed with me or happy with me. It got to the point where I no longer cared about anything, except what you thought of me.
And soon I just stopped feeling.
Then one day, driving down the road, I exploded. I had no idea what was going on, I just knew I had lost my mind. Nothing was real to me anymore. I resented the people that I worked so hard to impress because in the end, they still didn’t care. My closet exploded and all my dirty little secrets came pouring out for everyone to see. I picked up those nasty pieces and made them mine. I ran from everything I had tried so hard to build into a hole of nothingness. I felt deserted by my friends, my church, my priest, and my family.
But God didn’t abandon me. God never left my side. God never threw me out with the trash.
I began to find myself in the rooms of a 12 Step program. I began to find myself crying in the pew on Sunday morning. I began to find myself in the conversations I had with professional counselors. I began to find myself by letting Jesus be my friend and forgive me. I found myself by letting go of the garbage and letting God heal those dark places. I found myself with dear friends who held my hand through the painful journey. Mostly I found myself by accepting that I am uniquely made in God’s image and no matter what anyone else thinks of me—I am special to him and that makes me special to me! The simple fact that God already knows about all that junk in the closet and still loves me is enough. I am who I am because God allowed me to grow through these dark moments and has brought me out of the fire and into the light.
I don’t have any profound scripture or passage to share with you today. All I have today is God’s story of salvation and transformation for me. I am changed because I reached a hand up and he grabbed it and has never let go. Reach out today, in some way, shape, or form and let God reveal how wonderfully made and loved you are and begin to see the possibilities in your future. Be that beloved person God made you to be. Share your transformation story and see how God changes the lives of others. Open the closet and let the real you spring forward.
“No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.”
Psalm 25: 3 New Living Translations
I grew up believing in Jesus—I went to church and I prayed. We lived in a time when being a Christian was a proud thing, until you did something awful and then that was pretty much that! And if someone else brought evil into your life, they were out of there too. As a young woman I lived somewhere between these worlds. I was disgraced by the behavior of the men in my life and I was disgraced by my behavior as a result of these actions. And I tried to hide all of it.
Following the sexual abuse I was taunted by the boys in the neighborhood. I was an innocent child thrown into a world of sexuality, before I knew what that meant. One day I was the princess being carried around on a makeshift throne. It seems the next day the boys were trying to take advantage of me at every chance. I was now free game and the attention I was getting set a thinking pattern for me that said, “Sex brings attention—sex must be the way to go.” Those I once trusted now became my foes. My belief system faltered because I no longer had the same compass leading me. Some translations of this verse say: “Do not let anyone that hopes in you be ashamed. Let the people that say false things without a reason be ashamed.” I was ashamed to be a Christian who felt tarnished and who also was now drinking, drugging, and sleeping around while trying to convince others that I was still this “good girl.” I simply lost my way.
Through my teen years and those as a young woman, I made a lot of bad choices for myself. I had ‘relationship’ after ‘relationship.’ And yet I kept a foot in the church door. I went to church on Sunday. As a good Catholic, I went to confession, only I never confessed my sexual acting out. I taught Sunday school and brought a number of my hurting girlfriends to church and laid a foundation for their belief in Christ today. I went through the motions and in my heart I clung to the belief that somehow God understood. Somehow, one day God would make this all right for me. What I didn’t realize was that it was up to me to make it right by first accepting it was wrong. I needed to look at myself and quit making excuses and blaming others and literally lie in front of the cross and ask the man who died there for me to help me. I needed to be forgiven and changed. I needed to stop living ashamed and disgraced. With each step toward him, he pulled me closer. As I was willing to let go of the blame and the shame, he brought me new dignity. It has taken a very long time to get here, and I’m still working on it, but I no longer have shame in this story of my life. I have peace that today I am wiped clean and can share this with you so that you too can know this peace and joy.
Are you living with the shame and disgrace of past behaviors? Are you afraid someone will find out? Do you want to stop being that person? I suggest then that you do what I did and recognize that God already knows so you can’t really hide it from him anyway! Tell him your pain. Tell him your disgrace. Give him your tears and let him wipe them away. Visualize Jesus holding you and telling you he loves you, NO MATTER WHAT you did. Read Psalm 25 or find one that speaks to your hearts and pray it every day until you feel whole again. Share your healing journey with someone you trust. Ask them to pray with you. And then share your grace with someone else that needs to hear.
Be healed. Be restored!
maggiemarcum 